A Counter Offer

A couple, both of whom are near and dear to me, are in the process of buying a house. The stress has been so dreadful the husband recently walked out on his wife. He was convinced by his parents to return and talk things over with her. They agreed to seek help from a counselor.

That is the problem. They do not know where to go. They finally picked a name out of the phone book and called. He has yet to return their calls.

I feel they are perfect for each other, and it is the stress of home buying that has caused this problem. Can you suggest how they could find someone to help sort things out?

Gwyneth

Gwyneth, we understand your concern and love for your friends, and your desire for a happy ending. But all we can do is be honest, and when Tamara and I saw your note, we had the same thought.

Buying a house is stressful. Other people hold up hoops for you to jump through, and the process can seem totally out of control. But when each person feels there is nowhere else they would rather be, and no one else they would rather be with, the difficulties are easily surmounted.

One thing we have noticed is how often buying a house, buying a larger house, or building a dream house is the prelude for divorce. It’s not the event which causes the problem, it’s the event which reveals the problem which was always there.

Individual counseling may clarify what is going on between these friends. Finding the right counselor is trial and error, and where that leads is for them to understand. As Tamara just said, “When you have problems buying a house, you don’t run from your wife, you run from the deal.”

Wayne

Wayne & Tamara are also the authors of Cheating in a Nutshell, What Infidelity Does to the Victim, available from Amazon, Apple and most booksellers.