Make the McKenzie Connection!
Make the McKenzie Connection!
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Although I am not usually an indecisive person, I am having a difficult time making a financial decision and would like your thoughts on the matter. I have belonged to a church for 25 years. I have supported it with increasingly larger amounts as my circumstances improved, although not with tithes as they would like. Over the years religion has come to make less and less sense to me, but I still believe "as you have done unto the least of these, you have done unto me." Over the last few years,...
I was engaged to be married to a man I've been with three years, and I have been miserable for months. There were problems in the past with other girls getting too close, but only one I had proof of. He promised it was a part of an emotional past he was moving away from. He said he used her for the way she would bring him stuff at work--he's a police officer--and wait on him hand and foot. He said he wanted to treat her badly and use her because he has that urge, but didn't want to do that to...
I have a middle-aged American friend, divorced for many years, who ended a long relationship a few months ago. Recently he became fascinated with the culture and women of a country where marriages are arranged. He found himself a couple of pen pals and is planning to go over soon and interview potential brides. He's not one of those creepy, bitter, chauvinistic, mail-order bride seekers. He genuinely believes in gender equality. He likes the idea of a relationship based on shared values with a f...
I desperately need help ending a friendship I know I must end. For the past two years I have given advice to a friend with problems. My friend would call daily to ask for direction on handling situations she seemed unable to deal with. In my willingness to help, I gave her the best information I could, based on my experience. Yesterday my friend phoned me, and during the conversation, mentioned she didn't feel I was being honest with myself. She insinuated my husband was probably gay, and that...
Two years ago, I divorced, and there is still a lot of hostility. My former husband has been served with contempt papers for not paying child support. He says I am sending him to the poorhouse, but I have no recourse but to contact the court when the payments stop. He continues to blame me, even though two judges have explained it is the court which determines when contempt charges are filed. My children require the necessities of life, which I provide, but he says the children are my responsibi...
I have been with my boyfriend two years, and we've had our disagreements. I believe we always come out of them better people realizing we both have aspects of our personality we need to work on. He thinks it would be a good idea to live together before we get married. I do not. My thinking is, if you want to live with me then why not just get married? This argument went on and on until I compromised and said, "I will live with you only if I have a ring and a wedding date." My boyfriend has his...
Last year someone from high school tracked me down, and we've been seeing each other ever since. He separated from his wife nine years ago, and they divorced two years later. Even after the divorce he spent Christmas with his ex and their two sons. He also goes to the sons' birthday parties. which his ex has with her extended family. I thought that was commendable until we fell in love and he started talking about marriage. I could understand it when the children were young, but they are 19 and...
My ex-husband left me a week before Thanksgiving. We had built a brand-new home, moved our things in, and a month later he left me and our two young sons. The day before we had measured our backyard for a patio, made love, and ate dinner together. I fell asleep with him telling me how much he loved me. The next day he never came home. He filed for divorce and four months later it was done. He enthusiastically gave me full physical and legal custody of our children. Shock does not begin to cover...
I am heartbroken. A week ago I learned my wife-to-be cheated on me. We have lived together for two years and have a beautiful baby boy. We planned to get married next year. We even have a marriage license. About three months ago I found a chat she had with a guy that worked with her. The chat was very explicit. She spent an afternoon with this guy at a friend's house "doing her hair" she said. She swore to me nothing happened. She was so upset I accused her of an affair she went to her mom's for...
I have been involved with a married man for a little while. I am married myself, but it was an arranged marriage and I am very unhappy. I stay with my husband because of culture and my small children. Because I was miserable, I was elated to fall in love with a guy I met. I never asked him for anything. I wanted to have a friend in him. I know he will never leave his wife and I don't want him to, but last week I found out I am pregnant by him. I know the best way forward is termination, but it...
I am a legally separated man who is going through a divorce. A friend introduced me to his girlfriend about a year ago. We immediately took to each other, but until a month ago, we didn't realize how the other one felt. I was happily married when we met, but my wife fooled around on me so we split up. Anyway, I started talking to my friend's girlfriend. While he was away for two weeks of job training, we began seeing each other. We both want to be together but don't know what to do. She is four...
Growing up I thought I had a typical, possibly even idyllic, childhood until my mother left my father for another man. Both parents pressured me to be the woman of the house for my three younger siblings. Rightly or wrongly, I made the choice to abandon it all and move out. At 17 I was on my own. Most people who meet my mom love her, but she is a manipulative, self-involved woman hiding behind the facade of perfection. Only those of us who see past that facade understand how destructive she can...
I have been married a dozen years and have four children. During our engagement my husband and I got into an argument and broke up. He tells me I told him I cheated on him with another guy in college and was considering ending our relationship for the other man. I'm thinking this is what I told him. Asked by a friend if I would consider dating this guy I was attracted to, I answered, "Yes, if I were not dating my fiancé." I do not remember saying I would have ended our relationship, nor do I...
I have been lucky in life, growing up in nice neighborhoods, going to good schools, with parents who are very successful financially. I am about to finish my bachelor's degree and work full-time at a good job. I am 20 and things are going great. My wonderful boyfriend is 22 and has been less lucky. He was raised by an amazing single mother who has worked two jobs to support her four children; they are from a low-income, mostly Latino community, where the schools are poor. As a result, life has...
Almost three years ago I found out my wife had been phoning a man she met on a business trip. They talked for about four months, and she swears they did not meet again, though she made one business trip back to where she met him. At the time he was married and 55, and she was in her early 40s. I wanted her to tell me his name so I could call and confront him. But the therapist we went to and the one I went to said that would be a bad idea. My wife says she is sorry and it was the biggest...
I moved in with my boyfriend five months ago. We've been friends for two years, but only started being romantic a few months before I moved in. We have the same values and want the same things: starting a co-op, starting a family, running a farm, and promoting a better economic system. Big, big dreams! I've known him to be all the things I wanted in a partner-strong, supportive, and optimistic. But almost as soon as I moved in he started to fall apart. He's in university with straight A's, but...
On our wedding day, my mother-in-law insisted she had to see me before the ceremony. I had already finished my hair and makeup and was about to walk down the aisle. She proceeded to take lipstick out of her purse and apply it to my face. She said she didn't want a pale face standing up next to her handsome son at the altar. That was just the beginning. She always feels she is in the right, and she must outdo everyone in every situation. Her husband left her not long after our wedding and...
I think I'm in a tight spot. My older brother is married with two young children. He was caught having a little Internet fling a few years ago. Nothing happened, but I suppose the correct way of putting it is he emotionally cheated. He felt like crud, and we all thought he had put this behind him. He and his wife have been to counseling, and he did his best to be the best husband ever. Currently they're tense whenever they are together. You can cut the air with a knife, and it seems they are...
I have been dating this guy four months. We got along well until a girl in one of our university classes started pushing herself on him, asking to see his notes, and touching his stuff while sitting beside him. I am also in the class, but don't sit with him because I like to sit in the front of the lecture hall and he prefers the very back. She knows I am the girlfriend because he waits after class to walk me to my next class. Originally I didn't want to make a big deal out of it, but I did...
About 16 years ago, I fell in love with an elegant, well-educated, good-looking woman. We were madly in love and became a couple. I had just stepped out of a bad separation, but her divorce was even worse. Our relationship soon got disturbed by strange events on her side, mostly when alcohol was involved-extreme jealousy, silence, and a domineering attitude. Sometimes she sent me away; other times I left the scene because I could not cope. On one Christmas Eve holiday she left me at the dinner...
Last year someone from high school tracked me down, and we've been seeing each other ever since. He separated from his wife nine years ago, and they divorced two years later. Even after the divorce he spent Christmas with his ex and their two sons. He also goes to the sons' birthday parties which his ex has with her extended family. I thought that was commendable until we fell in love and he started talking about marriage. I could understand it when the children were young, but they are 19 and 2...
My husband and I were married this weekend in Las Vegas. At the wedding dinner my mother-in-law leaned across the table and started cutting my husband's steak! I was mortified. The next day we met my parents and his parents in the lobby bar for a soda before we headed for the airport. My mother-in-law pulled out a velvet bag and tossed it to my husband. It was a bracelet for him. I should mention I bought him a nice watch for a wedding gift, and he showed it off the previous day, our wedding...
I am currently dating a man I know I could fall in love with. Everything matches up-physically, emotionally, sports, and our ideas about the future. But he is legally separated from an alcoholic wife who is the mother of his two teenage daughters. Today she was arrested for drunk driving and hit-and-run. She fled to my boyfriend's house for cover and was handcuffed and taken to jail. He is, by the way, a fireman who works many hours and is very responsible. He told me he does not ever want to...
I have been married 12 years and am pregnant with our second child. Our oldest is two and a half. About 10 months ago, my husband began smoking a daily cigar, and it has since escalated into cigarettes. I cannot begin to tell you how much I hate this. I talked to him, and he quit for a few days and then started right back up. I made an appointment with our family physician without his knowledge to see if my husband can get a prescription of the stop-smoking drug. I let him know what I did, and...
I am 30, married, with two daughters. I am now discovering the effects my alcoholic parents had on me. I am in college studying for a bachelor's degree in human services, and I have learned a lot about what I went through as a child. So, I confronted my mother about her addiction. On the phone she ignores my words and hangs up on me. When I emailed, she replied she no longer considers herself my mother. I know I cannot change her, she can only change herself. But I want her to know how she's...
